Dutch magazine ‘Happy in Shape’
This article, ‘Pas bij een gigolo kwam ik voor het eerst klaar’, from Dutch magazine ‘Happy in Shape‘, has been copied from our colleagues at ‘Marie Claire’, Dutch edition. You can read more real life stories at ‘marieclaire.nl‘.
Source: Marie Claire | Text: Marjolein Straatman
The translated text of the article original article, ‘Pas bij een gigolo kwam ik voor het eerst klaar’, can be read here. It is written out below.
“With a gigolo, I had my first orgasm”
Marieke (34) had little sexual experience and wanted to know what it felt like to have an orgasm. After an online search, she came across Gigolo René.
Journey of discovery
In my twenties, I didn’t have much experience with sex. My first time was at 21 during a one-night stand. I kind of liked it, but it didn’t feel quite right – there was alcohol involved.
The same happened with my second experience, which was on a study trip. I ended up with someone I didn’t really like, and I was under the influence again. Afterwards, I regretted it and wondered what sex would be like without all that, sober and natural. I also wondered if and how I would ever experience an orgasm. Although I masturbated occasionally, I had never managed to orgasm. Those two experiences sparked something inside me though, something that made me want to explore more.
I hadn’t been in a serious relationship yet. I’m not the type to stay out at bars until three in the morning, I’d rather hang out with friends at home on the weekends. Dating apps didn’t get me anywhere. I’m on Tinder now, but still no luck. If I’m not getting dick pics, the very next message usually asks which position I prefer. It’s exhausting. Everything feels so scripted and forced. Definitely not for me.
Surfing for sex
I couldn’t deny the need: I was curious. One evening, almost impulsively, I found myself searching online. I don’t remember exactly what I typed, but I was looking for sex, or more specifically, for someone who had experience, unlike me. I quickly came across male escorts. Gigolos, in all shapes and sizes. Some fully dressed, others not at all. Many were shown in full regalia, some even with an erection. It didn’t really appeal to me, not quite my cup of tea.
The website of a certain René did catch my attention. His texts about his work were thoughtful, and he wrote that he loves to pamper women – in a friendly, respectful, and trustworthy way.
I decided to send him an email, briefly explaining my situation. A sweet and understanding message came back quickly; of course, he said, he could take into account that I had little experience. Combined with something he’d written on his site about what a first date might look like, I was convinced. Before I knew it, I had booked a hotel in a city I didn’t know. René would meet me there and stay for four hours. In our email exchange, he reassured me: all my fantasies would come true.
Hotel date
The appointment was something I really looked forward to. I had put on makeup and beautiful lingerie for the occasion, though nerves ran high while waiting alone in the hotel room for his knock at the door. With no photo to go by, there was no way to know what to expect.
The first thing I noticed was his height, he was quite a bit shorter than me. Not really my type, but he was attractive and slim. Not that it truly mattered. We quickly got into a relaxed conversation, and I could tell right away how kind he was. That immediately put me at ease.
His subtle approach helped me feel at ease. After a drink and a relaxed conversation, he gently suggested I lie down on the bed in my bra and underwear for a massage. René began by softly and carefully touching my back, gradually taking things a little further with each thoughtful movement.
With plenty of oil, he smoothly shifted from using his hands to his chest, skillfully moving over my back and hips, then back again. Then he asked me to turn around.
I loved the skin-to-skin contact and felt myself growing more and more aroused as the massage became more erotic. René clearly knew his way around foreplay and what women enjoy.
After he had also explored my body with his mouth, it came to the act itself. It wasn’t straightforward, either – he combined it with one of the many toys he’d brought along. He clearly knew what he was doing.
Adrenaline
It was the night I reached orgasm for the first time. As if he sensed I was wondering what on earth was happening to my body, he gently whispered, ‘You just came.’ It wasn’t the only time that night, at some point, I lost count.
He had even thought of the aftermath. He held me silently in his arms for fifteen minutes, letting me enjoy the afterglow as he gently caressed me. After a shower, it was over. I couldn’t sleep afterwards – the adrenaline was still rushing through my body. After a short night, I packed my things and headed to the gym to let off some steam.
Sexual pleasure
It had all been amazing, but I was also left feeling a bit confused. In the days that followed, I kept thinking about that night, the intimacy, the caresses, the sex, and felt a kind of longing. Not because I knew René well, or because I was falling for him, I wasn’t in love. But I did feel drawn to him and sensed a strange kind of connection. Later, I read about oxytocin, the so-called ‘cuddle hormone’ that’s released after sex. That explained a lot. Confusing, but nothing to worry about. If anything, the experience left me wanting more.
There was just one problem: at the time, I was still a broke student. The booking had cost me €300. Months went by without anything happening, not even with other men. Then my birthday rolled around, and I figured: what better excuse to treat myself? A night with René, plus the hotel.
Luckily, I was much less nervous this time. As soon as René walked in, he gently pushed me against the wall and kissed me passionately, without saying a word. It felt like something straight out of a movie.
The sex was just as intense as the first time, but this time I was much more daring – especially when it came to pleasing him. After eight months without reaching orgasm because I hadn’t been able to before, the relief was incredible.
Surprising
And he kept surprising me. I learned more and more about myself. For example, on our third date, I discovered how exciting it can be to use a blindfold and nipple clamps and how much I enjoy completely surrendering to someone. There’s a real trust between us.
Still, I keep a very businesslike view of the gigolo’s services, because that’s exactly what they are: services. Like going to a hairdresser or beautician. The best part is that there’s never any awkwardness after sex, no clingy calls or messages. I get exactly what I want from someone who’s there just for me, someone who takes his time and focuses entirely on my pleasure.
The only downsides? Maybe the condom and the cash. I usually sneakily leave the money on the table at the start, out of a bit of awkwardness, just to get it over with!
Meeting René helped me gain experience. Maybe that’s why I later felt brave enough to start an affair with a colleague. Nothing serious, mostly just mutual desire. With him, I could experiment endlessly and discover what I enjoy and find exciting. Honestly, I never thought I’d even end up in a swingers’ club. There was real openness between us. He was the only person I dared to tell about occasionally booking a gigolo.
Because of this new sex life, René had slipped into the background a bit. That changed when I got a new job and stopped seeing my colleague. A few weeks ago, I met René again – this time at my place because I wanted to try something different. We quickly fell back into rhythm. I didn’t have to say a word or ask for anything. The sex just flowed naturally. Perfectly.
Tune in to feeling
It’s great when someone can make you feel that way through sex. But with René, I gained so much more. Besides introducing me to a whole range of orgasms, he also taught me to let go of my overthinking and tune into my feelings, as he calls it. I’m typically someone who’s always “in my head.” Now, I listen to my emotions more and am much kinder to myself. That’s not only wonderful during intimacy but also in other parts of life, like work.
I feel ready now for a steady relationship. That said, I don’t think sex has to be something that only happens between me and a partner. Of course, that’s something to keep in mind.