Intimate healing
Sometimes, the body and mind carry memories they would rather forget. Memories of sexual abuse or boundary-crossing behavior that affect how you view intimacy, touch, and trust, and how you navigate them
The impact of trauma
Due to sexual trauma, intimacy and sexuality are not always a given. Sometimes it feels overwhelming or confusing, or you might feel disconnected from your own body. You may also deeply long for closeness, but don’t quite know how to welcome it in a relaxed way. This is especially true if intimacy hasn’t been part of your life for many years—perhaps even decades.
I completely understand how daunting that threshold can feel when physical contact hasn’t played a role for so long. Please know there is absolutely no pressure, and everything unfolds entirely at your own pace.
There is nothing ‘wrong’ with you
It is important to realize: there is nothing ‘wrong’ with you. What you feel is an understandable reaction to what you have experienced and what was done to you. Learning to trust again—in yourself, in touch, and in intimacy—deserves all the time it needs.
Safety and alignment at your own pace
A meeting with me is not about pressure or expectations, but about safety and mutual alignment. Usually, I suggest we first meet briefly for a cup of coffee to get to know each other in a relaxed way, after which you can take your time to let everything sink in.
During any subsequent date, everything happens at your pace and according to your wishes. If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can simply keep your clothes on. There is no pressure; it can all start with connection in a way that feels good to you, in a setting where you remain in control. A place that provides clarity, where respect is a given, where every step is aligned, and where ‘no’ is just as welcome as ‘yes’.
From that foundation, room can slowly emerge to experience touch not as tension, but as something warm and soothing.
A valuable addition to therapy
A meeting with an experienced, empathetic gigolo is not a substitute for therapy. Professional help, for example through a specialized psychologist or dedicated support organizations in your area, plays a crucial role in processing and recovery.
At the same time, some women consciously choose to reclaim positive, safe, real-world experiences with intimacy alongside their therapy. Not to erase the past, but to create new memories—memories that are beautiful and pleasant, and in where they are in full control.
Creating new, pleasant memories
It can be profound to notice after a few appointments that your body can still experience relaxation. That closeness does not always means tension, and that trust can grow step by step, without haste.
Sometimes it simply starts with someone who is quietly present, respects your boundaries, and understands that true intimacy begins with safety. Rediscovering intimacy is not a grand gesture, but often a series of small, gentle moments where you notice you are coming a little closer to yourself again.
Insights from practice
With over 15 years of experience as a gigolo, I regularly guide women who have experienced sexual violence or abuse. It is precisely through these encounters that I have learned how essential tranquility, clear communication, and complete autonomy truly are.
In the University of Amsterdam (UvA) master’s thesis ‘Feeling like a natural woman’ by Merel van Mansom, you can read firsthand accounts of women who have booked an appointment with me, and how such encounters help break the social taboo surrounding this subject.
Learning to feel again
In conclusion: you do not have to do this alone. Together, we create a safe space where you can gently learn to feel again – in a way that respects your past and gives your future room to breathe. Whatever your reason for considering this step: you decide, you choose, and it happens exactly the way it feels right to you.
When you decide you want to break through that barrier, I offer you the peace and space as a gigolo to rediscover things step by step—at your own pace.
Background & sexological research
The impact of sexual boundary-crossing experiences on later intimacy and sexuality has been extensively researched. Studies and insights from the field of sexology show that women with a history of sexual abuse or trauma more frequently experience difficulties with trust, relaxation, and physical closeness. Specialized trauma care organizations and professional sexual health platforms emphasize how crucial safety, autonomy, and a trauma-sensitive approach are in reclaiming sexual health.
Specific research into female clients of male sex workers remains scarce. However, Dutch research and insights from practice show that sexuality within professional encounters is not exclusively physical. It frequently revolves around emotional safety, attentive listening, and restoring trust in one’s desires and boundaries. The limited visibility of this topic in academic research is partly due to social reluctance and the taboo surrounding the choice to hire a gigolo.
Disclaimer: This page is not intended to provide therapeutic claims. However, it aligns with insights from sexology, trauma care, and years of practical experience, which show that safe, respectful, and self-chosen experiences can contribute to relearning to trust one’s own body and boundaries—always in combination with appropriate professional support when necessary or desired.