Dutch magazine ‘Mijn Geheim’
The originally Dutch article ‘Mijn leven als gigolo’, from the Dutch magazine ‘Mijn Geheim’, can be read here. Text by Marjolein Straatman. The translated text of the article is written out below.
“My life as a gigolo”
Gigolo René loves making love to women
René (35) has a unique job. A few times a week he visits women who hire him as a gigolo. No one knows this except his ex-girlfriend and his clients. ‘People around me will otherwise talk bad about me’, he says.
The first time I visited a woman as a gigolo, I made the mistake of moving too quickly. In swingers’ clubs I had become used to women who take the initiative, active women and this setting was of course of a completely different order. It wasn’t much of a success this first time and the lady didn’t have to pay me for it.
The second date was a great success. It was a date with a couple and the woman looked absolutely amazing. The evening went exactly to plan and I even got paid for it! The next few days I had my head in the clouds…
You learn as you go and I knew from experience that women take longer to get in the mood than men. And since I want to deliver quality, I consciously always plan about 3 to 4 hours per appointment and I always follow my heart because that usually works best.
I am aware that a first date with a gigolo can be a bit nerve-racking for many women. It therefore occasionally happens that a woman drinks a little too much to gain courage beforehand. This is difficult for me because half-drunk women don’t really put me in the mood.
Gentle & sweet
I am good looking, well groomed, polite, friendly, well mannered and have a sense of humor. I’m not the manager or macho type, but more gentle and sweet. I also take good care of my hygiene, I don’t take any health risks and I always make sure I have condoms with me.
It goes without saying that I always treat the women I meet with care, respect and love and warmth. Sometimes a date also means that I just listen or hold their hand if they want. That I caress them, hug them or just give them a shoulder to cry on. Or we make love, role-play or live out a fantasy.
One of my dates said, “I make love to my husband, but
with you I have fun in bed”
As I said, the step to take feels much bigger for women than it would be for men. In general, things usually start with a few emails or messages back and forth before an appointment is even made. I send pictures of myself, first faceless, then with face, and finally in underwear. By e-mail I already had a bit of an impression of the woman’s experiences and wishes. Dates usually take place at women’s homes, the rest take place in hotels.
What types of women book me? That is very diverse.
- Single women between the ages of 25 and 35, who generally want to gain sexual experience and find meeting a gigolo very exciting.
- In addition, there are couples, often modern young people, who want to experience a threesome as the icing on the cake. Sometimes a man finds it hot to see his partner having sex with another man, something she also finds exciting. Usually the relationship between the couples is very good, which is nice for me as well.
- Then there is also a large group of recently divorced women with small children who would like to be intimate with a man again.
- Finally, there are also women who are stuck in an unhappy relationship or who are with a man with a busy job and little time. They are bored and looking for excitement.
I always take plenty of time for a date and usually suggest to the woman that I start with a non-erotic relaxation massage, to loosen up. If everything goes well and she wants it too, an erotic massage will follow. What happens next depends on the woman. We have, and take all the time!
Sometimes I am also booked by sexually less active women or women with a history of sexual violence. Of course I won’t solve psychological problems within four hours, but it’s so wonderful when these women have a good time again. That gives me great satisfaction.
On average I have about two dates a week, half of which are follow-up appointments. The first half is on weekends and the other half on weekdays. With this job it is convenient that I am self-employed without children. This means that I am basically available 7 days a week, 24 hours a day.
Taboo
How do I feel about making love to unknown women? That’s no problem for me. I have no problem making love to less attractive ladies either. To me, hygiene and civility are much more important than that. I sometimes get vulgar emails or phone calls, but I don’t want anything to do with them and these messages never result in an appointment. Besides my clients, from my inner and social circle only my ex-girlfriend Anneke knows that I have this job. We have never shared with anyone that we visited swingers’ clubs and so we keep this gigolo job to ourselves as well. I am aware of the taboo surrounding gigolos and their use. It’s actually very strange, considering that ladies of pleasure are visited millions of times a year in the Netherlands.
I think it would be a great thing for women to spend a few hours with a good, experienced lover. Unfortunately, for most women this will never happen. And that’s a shame, I think. Also, having an orgasm during the sex game is not a given for all women. And I’m sorry to say this, but most men don’t know how women wish to be loved and touched.
Unfortunately, in our liberal and modern country it is still not done to just make an appointment with a man like myself. Women do make appointments with the hairdresser and the beautician, they let themselves be pampered in a spa. Then why not in the erotic field? I love seeing women enjoy their sexuality, and I regret that 9 out of 10 don’t allow themselves an erotic date.
I can think of few downsides to this job. The only disadvantage I can think of is that I often have to drive for hours for my appointments and therefore don’t get to bed until late. I also find it difficult when a man shows little respect for his wife, but I say nothing about that.
Thanks to the contact with potential customers prior to an appointment, I can separate the wheat from the chaff quite well. Fortunately, so far I haven’t experienced any really bad things. In my opinion, the ‘bad sides’ do not outweigh the good sides. Every new appointment is exciting, it gives me a kick.
Fun in bed
I don’t see my job as a gigolo and the fact that no one knows that about me as a double life. Twice a week I ‘go out something different’ than most people. I just really enjoy that. One of my dates recently said to me, ‘I make love to my husband, I have fun in bed with you.’ I thought this was a beautiful description. And that’s how I see it too. I have a few hours of fun with a woman, and when she looks back on it, she should have a smile on her face. It’s exciting, you don’t know who or what you are going to meet.
But one’s personal sex life is still a taboo for many today, and I don’t know how my ‘regular customers’ would react if they knew what job I do as well. I absolutely don’t dare take the risk that they might react strangely or unpleasantly. Moreover, I live in a fairly small community, where the know-us principle prevails. That’s why I don’t tell anyone. Most people who visit swingers’ clubs keep this a secret as well. Fortunately, in my life as a paid lover, I have never met anyone I know, but in theory an acquaintance could hire me. I think if this were to happen there are two options. Option one: I leave, and we never saw or contacted each other. Option two: we do the deed, and share a secret from then on. I’ve never met a date on the street, so I wouldn’t know what that’s like. In all the years that I have been visiting swingers’ clubs, I have met a number of acquaintances. Fortunately, it never made me feel uncomfortable. I see one person often through my regular job. We then greet each other in a friendly manner. It’s actually a kind of unwritten code of confidentiality.
I am not currently in a relationship, but I am open to it. I do think that this can be combined with my work as a gigolo. In a relationship you share intimacy, so do I. You are there for each other, for better or for worse. Visiting swingers’ clubs and my work as a gigolo are separate from that as far as I’m concerned. In my previous relationship we were able to separate those things well. I therefore don’t expect any real problems in any future relationship. It can go together, I know that.
My ex-girlfriend and I view swingers’ clubs as relaxation. We both love this. We dress up, go out, eat something, dance and flirt a bit. And more. Partner swapping may be unthinkable for some, but I see it as having fun, as playing around. How do I see my future? I would like to be a full-time gigolo, because then I could turn my hobby into my job. But for now that is not yet the case.
I sometimes fantasize that I will one day live in a retirement home and how I would tell my story. I think people will say I have dementia!