Dutch newspaper ‘De Telegraaf’
RThe originally Dutch article, ‘Ik huurde een gigolo‘, from the Dutch daily newspaper ‘De Telegraaf’ can be read here. The translated text of the article is written out below. By Hanna Gillissen
Lisanne: “I hired a gigolo”
After a difficult marriage and more than ten years without intimacy, Lisanne* (49) decided to take a chance and booked an appointment with a gigolo. Since then, this mother of two daughters (18 and 21) has been full of energy – and she’s eager to break the taboo around her choice.
“I’m sweet, gentle, and warm-hearted. In a relaxed and respectful way, I’ll help you unwind for a few hours. We’ll get to know each other a bit, have some light conversation, and I’ll suggest starting with a relaxing massage, then an erotic massage, and after that… well, Lisanne, just imagine…”
Reading the email from Gigolo René hit me hard, it was overwhelming in the best way! Just the day before , I’d finally taken the plunge and reached out, asking for more information. I’d shared that it had been over ten years since my last sexual experience, and that I’d never had an orgasm during my entire marriage. That my self-confidence had taken a big hit, and that I’m plus size – wondering if that was a problem for him…
Sex life
I got divorced in 2012 after more than 25 years of marriage. Our sex life wasn’t exciting, and about ten years before we split, I found out he had been cheating on me constantly. I felt incredibly hurt, but we stayed together like brother and sister. He was fine with it that way; he could do his own thing, and I took care of the children. I wanted to keep our family life going, so I shut down my feelings.
Then one day, I went out for a drink with a school friend from back in the day. He kept telling me how much he liked me. I hadn’t noticed before, but suddenly he kissed me right on the mouth. It was heaven on earth! At the same time, I thought, what now? Cheating didn’t feel right, I was too insecure for that. But it did spark something inside me, and that’s when I decided to get divorced.
Almost too exciting..
Dating felt way too overwhelming for me, I didn’t dare try, let alone approach someone in a bar. My self-confidence and trust in men were completely shattered. I thought I was fat and kept wondering, who would want me anyway? I hadn’t had sex in so long that I honestly had no idea what was expected of me anymore.
But then, last spring, out of nowhere, I thought: you know what, I’m going to see a gigolo. I’d read about it once before and it didn’t seem so crazy. If I needed a gardener, I’d hire one, right?
Plunge
That’s how I ended up on Gigolo René’s website. We emailed back and forth, and he made it clear he wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. He promised to pamper me, and I wouldn’t have to feel pressured to please him. That gave me the confidence to take the plunge.
It was almost too exciting, but I was curious what it would feel like to be ‘re-deflowered.’ We arranged the date at a hotel because I didn’t want to meet at my place; that felt too close. That afternoon, nerves and doubts hit me hard, and I texted him, “Be honest, are even half the references on your site real?”
He replied, “Everything is real, and you’ll be the judge tomorrow. Have you packed your suitcase yet?”
I told my youngest daughter, who was often home on weekends then, that I was going to a spa with a friend. I painted my nails, put on some perfume, and wore a beautiful lingerie set. It gave me a little boost of confidence.
When I checked in, nerves were raging through my body. When he didn’t show up at the agreed time, I thought, He’s not coming. I’ve been stood up… But just then, I got a text: “I’m coming up now.” My heart started racing like crazy!”
Rene
René walked in – a slender, muscular man, a bit on the short side, with dark short hair. Not usually my type, but I immediately felt comfortable with him. While he made coffee, I told him I hadn’t had sex in a long time and wanted to overcome my insecurities.
He listened and said, “You’ve missed out on a lot!” after which he asked me to undress down to my bra and panties. I lay down on the bed, and he started to massage me. At first, I wasn’t sure… but he was absolutely amazing!
My underwear came off, and so did his boxers. Suddenly we were lying close together on the bed, naked, having sex like I never experienced before.
It felt as if my mind switched off and my senses fully turned on. All my fears melted away. I completely forgot that, for him, this was his job. The experience was so intense and thrilling. It was a four-hour journey of discovery, during which I reached several climaxes.
Afterwards, we lay beside each other for a while – I was still trembling with adrenaline. René gently told me to stop putting myself down and reminded me that I am worth it. Finally, he got dressed and took the envelope I had left on the bedside table, as we agreed. I stayed in bed for a while longer, basking in the afterglow…
Energy boost
It wasn’t love I felt, I truly see it as a service. René taught me the sexual knowledge I needed. I don’t pretend that we had sex out of love, but it was based on respect and trust, and that means a lot. My date with a gigolo did me so much good. It gave me a huge boost of energy, and I finally feel like a woman again. I’ve told four girlfriends, and they keep asking when I’ll see him again. I already have another appointment because I want to learn more about the male body and how to satisfy a man. And I want to experience it all again – slowly this time. Then I can move forward.
Aftercare
René also provides aftercare through email. He encourages me to live fully and enjoy myself, even giving me advice on what to put on my dating profile. I’ve already signed up for a dating site – but not a paid one yet – that feels like a step too far for now. In the meantime, I chat on an online network. The men I meet there usually get straight to the point, but I’m not ready for that yet. I’m using it purely as practice, to figure out what I want and don’t want. Soon, I’ll go to a dance party to see how things are in ‘real life.’ Dating still scares me, but having taken such an important step already, I’m confident it will work out.
I’m bubbling and swirling inside, people around me can see it, but I’m sure no one suspects it’s from a gigolo experience! Honestly, I surprised myself too. I haven’t received any negative reactions; the friends I’ve told are happy I took control of the situation. But beyond that, I won’t tell anyone, I don’t want my children or employer to find out.
Hiring a gigolo
Why am I sharing this story? Because I want to break the taboo around hiring a gigolo. I want to shed the stigma. I’m not ashamed at all. In fact, I’m proud that I took this step. It’s been the best decision I’ve made since my divorce. And it meant so much more than just “buying sex”: I went there to learn, to feel what it’s like to be loved and to love in return. I wish every woman could have such an experience – especially those, like me, who struggle with self-confidence.
*Name changed for privacy