Glossy ‘Elle’ – Italian edition
“A woman doesn’t need to pay.” That’s the message you’ll hear in Amsterdam. Because, of course, it’s obvious, right? A woman can walk into any café at night and take her pick. Why would she ever need to pay?
And why on earth would there be men in the windows of the Red Light District, offering 15 minutes of sex for €50, right there in the shadow of the church? Such a naive question, after all, women usually have to fend men off. It’s a one-way market.
“Every woman knows full well there’s nothing more dangerous than going to a café or club at night and picking up the first guy she sees,” René says. “So we can find you in pieces in his fridge three months later,” he adds, half serious. Then, leaning in close, his fingers brushing the fabric of my blouse, he whispers against my neck: “Do you really think you have to pay?”
The men-for-women market does exist – it’s just hidden.
Male escort
He’s 42, with the body of a god. René is a management consultant who secretly offers himself as a male escort – a gigolo – about three times a week. I met him for the first time just twenty minutes ago, in a hotel lobby – and technically, we’re not exactly supposed to end up in bed together.
“The most important part of my work isn’t sex,” he says with a smile. “Let’s say it’s half listening, half sex. But really, it’s mostly about having fun.” Meanwhile, the lights are already dimmed, soft piano music is playing, and two glasses of wine are poured. His hands are on my back, slowly, dangerously, sliding lower.
Massage
The date will last three hours – or longer, if you like, but never less. It begins with two massages. The first is relaxing, as René describes it, the kind where you’re still wearing a few centimeters of fabric.
The second… He traces a finger across my lips, silencing the rest. His hands slide lower, with growing intensity. And again, we’re not destined to end up in bed together – and yet, he’s gently slipped a knee between my thighs. And that says more than thirty wandering hands ever could.
Men behind the windows was already tried back in 2007, in Amsterdam’s Red Light District, no less. It lasted just one day, with zero customers. The idea wasn’t the problem, the window was. What does work is connecting through the internet. And it’s not just limited to Amsterdam.
The returning clients I’m about to interview are nothing like the stereotype. An appointment costs at least €250 – not including the hotel and any extras. In the time it takes a woman to ask for his name, a man would already be done and satisfied, so to speak. That extra time, and the price that comes with it, makes the gigolo market something of an elite scene, frequented mainly by so-called career women.
Anonimity
The first woman I meet – after promising her complete anonymity – is easy to spot. Like me, she’s a TV journalist, impeccably put together from head to toe.
“I’m single now, and finding a man for a one-night stand wouldn’t be a problem, quite the opposite, actually. They’re usually chasing me,” she says. “But I work in a male-dominated environment, where I’d be labeled a slut for that, while a man who sleeps with a different woman every night faces no judgment. He can admit it without issue. It’s not just tolerated, it’s admired. He’s the cool guy no woman can resist. But if I were to say, ‘I love men, men are hot, sex is good’… people would just call me vulgar.”
Book Gigolo Rene
His clientele is generally between 25 and 45 years old, just like her. “They book me for all kinds of reasons,” René explains. “Each woman has her own story.”
“There was the 30-year-old who saw her lack of sexual experience, her virginity, as something holding her back. And just the other day, a woman who’d been cheated on by her husband. She wanted him to understand what that felt like – the wound, the shock, the disillusionment. I arrived at their home, and her husband was there. He had to leave her alone with me.”
Instincts & emotions
“Or there are couples, as often happens, who simply don’t like routine. Women who feel something is missing in their marriage, but not enough to end it. Many women don’t trust their own bodies, and as a result, don’t trust sex either. They barely know themselves and somehow fear their own instincts and emotions. Women who love their partners deeply but worry that opening up might cost them the relationship. They feel restrained, incomplete.”
“And, of course, there are women who want to explore. With me, discovering and understanding themselves becomes easier. These women don’t reach out for just a fling – they seek deeper connection with what they already know.”
“In the end, I often think I should be the one paying.”
Skin to skin
But that’s something René tells me later. For now, he holds me close, skin to skin, in that soft glow of half-light and whispered words. A shared journey of discovery, where nothing else matters. Or when he slips the ring back onto your finger, returning you to your own life, the life you belong to, and invites you to dinner.
In this moment, he’s fully in his role. You can ask him anything; there are no boundaries, no rules, except that he’s the one who leads. With your back to him, you can’t see as he begins to massage. The only rule is to feel – feel him, and most of all, feel yourself.
Lust
You barely have time to realize you’re really here, dancing with a man, a stranger you just met. His touch is intense, roaming over your body, and, guided by your reactions, your shivers, your breath, he always pulls back just a little before the edge.
With that knee always there, high between your thighs, and lust slowly and powerfully taking hold, overwhelming you. This is the most beautiful thing in today’s fast-paced world. He pampers you – hands everywhere, playing with your nipples, resting on your breasts. It builds and pulls back, awakening your body.
It’s no longer just about a few erogenous spots, your entire body is involved, and that’s the best part. You want to turn around and say, “Take me, just take me..”
René never says “my clients.” As a professional, he speaks of “my ladies.” He’s genuinely interested in you, trying to understand who you are. Usually, a date comes after a month of texts or phone calls back and forth – questions exchanged both ways.
Taboo
“Because honestly, the taboo around my work is different,” he explains. “It’s not about a woman looking for sex, it’s about a woman seeking pleasure. The woman who wants to receive without having to give anything in return. To do something just for herself. You can ask me for whatever you want, however you want it, but essentially, all I want is for you to just be there. Nothing else. In my hands.
I want everything to be tuned entirely to you for a moment. You carry the weight of countless expectations, endless responsibilities, limits, and fears. You’re used to giving much and receiving little, believing it’s because you haven’t given enough, or that you don’t deserve more. But really, you receive so little because that’s how it’s always been: our society is designed to serve men.”
Feel yourself
“It’s strange, really. While most men try to make you feel special, what’s beautiful about René is that he makes you feel normal,” says F. (34), a criminal defense attorney who’s usually sharp with words – but not now. She sits across from me in a café, looking the other way, momentarily fragile, disarmed.
“He takes away your insecurity. For a moment, even your fears. And he helps put things into perspective, makes you realize you’re not alone.”
Trust
“My childhood…my teenage years…let’s just say they weren’t typical. A failed relationship. Trust is hard for me. Opening up is hard. And orgasm…it doesn’t come easily. My last relationship ended because of that. Well, also because of that. You can’t imagine how much I loved him. I was so frustrated. So discouraged.”
Although we’re technically talking about sex, the conversation keeps drifting toward prostitution. There’s this common idea that sex for money is only for people – men or women – who avoid emotional connection. But in reality, it’s quite the opposite.
“There’s definitely an emotional exchange. It’s not just sex,” she says. “It’s actually much deeper than usual, precisely because, in the end, you’re with a stranger. That makes the connection clearer. You know for certain that René will be discreet, that he’ll leave, and so, strangely enough, it becomes safe to open up completely.”
Learning to let go
“And eventually you realize you’re not alone. Whatever your past may be, René has probably met other women with a story like yours. You start to understand that it’s not your fault your life turned out the way it did. And that now, it’s about learning to enjoy life. Even if it’s only for three hours. Learning to let go.”
The entire appointment is tailored to you. You can do whatever you want, stop whenever you need. Three hours of complete freedom – to be anything, anyone, to do things you never thought you could. Because everything is so relaxed, so gentle, so sensual, so impossibly kind.
And then, at some point, you realize…he’s not just touching you with his hands. You’re lying on your back now, eyes still closed – just as he asked. And that one simple rule: to let go, just this once. To surrender, and nothing more. Feel. Feel yourself.
“May I?”
He touches you. A body above yours. And a warm voice. As his hand caresses your neck – just before the moment overtakes you – he gently asks, “May I?”