Experience: Sexually awakened
Wow…what a joy!
After much hesitation and many conversations, we finally took the step to meet René. But how did we get there?
Let me introduce us. We’re Masha and Eric, 45 and 47 years old, from the southern part of the Netherlands. I work in the corporate world, and we’ve been together for 25 years. In just a few months, we’ll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Over the years, we’ve built a beautiful family with two daughters and a son.
Distrust of men
I (Masha) grew up in a very sheltered environment, raised with strong values and beliefs that made it quite a challenge for Eric to win me over. He was my first real boyfriend. As the daughter of a divorced mother, I picked up on her subtle but deep distrust of men – something I didn’t even realize at the time, but it definitely shaped how I approached relationships.
When it came to our sex life, things never really came easily; Eric had to put in a lot of effort. I was hesitant and afraid to open up. Eventually, we did develop a sexual relationship, but every step forward was hard-won.
In the years that followed, we enjoyed being intimate, but it always remained challenging. Eric had to fight for every change or new idea. Still, I was completely indulged – we had sex three to four times a week, with sessions lasting an hour and a half to two hours.
Soft SM
In the end, after the birth of our oldest child, everything became much easier, but I never managed to orgasm. We tried everything: watching porn, soft SM, webcams, sexy lingerie, going to the Kamasutra event – you name it. And we didn’t just do it to help me come, but also simply for the fun of it.
We always enjoyed ourselves, but I had a little brake and that little brake just stayed there. No matter what we did, I couldn’t orgasm, even if I masturbated. After the birth of our second child, Eric had started to make contact with another couple, but as soon as he discussed it with me, I closed down and he didn’t get any further. He didn’t do this for himself but wanted to help me to enjoy even more and try to come, because according to Eric I had simply put up a barrier through my upbringing that prevented me from relaxing and climaxing.
After the birth of our youngest child, I was more relaxed, I could enjoy it more and Eric came up with the idea to go to a swingers club. This was not appreciated by me either. Despite all this opposition from me, with sex of course being an important part of a relationship, we have continued to love each other and have never dated anyone else.
Blockage
Eric spent a lot of time talking about what was bothering me and what could help. He was, and still is, convinced that not being able to enjoy sex is a blockage that can be overcome.
Two years ago, after doing a lot of research online, Eric suggested the idea of seeing a gigolo. He’s a curious reader and became convinced that having sex with another man could be therapeutic for me. It would be all about pleasure, excitement, and relaxation, without having to worry about relationships, kids, or daily chores. Sex, 100% for the sake of sex.. Like hitting a reset button for myself.
Of course, this was non-negotiable for me, and not long ago I told Eric to stop. However, Eric kept bringing up the idea and began using the fantasy of another man during our intimate moments. In my mind, I absolutely didn’t want it, but my body started to respond more and more. I even admitted to myself that it was nice as a fantasy – though I would never actually go through with it.
Rene’s website
Then Eric found René’s website. René had a beautiful site and seemed like an honest person, not the macho type. The first contact was made, but as far as I was concerned, that was it. However, Eric kept bringing up the idea, and slowly but surely, something started to stir inside me. Every now and then, I’d check the site and read the women’s comments. This guy must be really special.
It took a whole year before I finally took the plunge. One Sunday morning, during sex, I surprised Eric by saying I wanted to make an appointment with René. You can imagine, Eric was completely shocked and confused, but he didn’t waste any time. That very same day, I contacted René by email. Of course, I included my doubts in the message. We got a very polite reply and some beautiful photos. The choice was entirely mine, but we quickly set a date before I could change my mind again.
Solid relationship
Over the next month, we prepared carefully for the appointment, just as René had advised. We often talked about what we were about to do, what it would mean for Eric, and whether our relationship would still feel just as solid afterwards. We also made a conscious effort to approach it positively. That meant buying a nice dress, getting my hair done, painting my nails, shaving intimately in advance. And of course, booking a hotel near René so we could really step away from our everyday lives and make it easier to separate the experience from our ‘normal’ routine.
We stayed in regular email contact with René, asking all sorts of questions, and he always responded kindly and thoughtfully. I didn’t have to worry – it would just be a few hours of fun, with Eric’s full blessing. All that was required was to relax and let myself be pampered. Nothing was expected of me, just to enjoy the moment.
No threat
René even promised he would never be a threat to our marriage. A big statement, of course. Would it really turn out that way, or could this experience actually put our relationship at risk?
And then the moment was finally there. That morning, we had left early to make it a relaxed and pleasant day, helping us unwind in preparation for the exciting hours to come that evening. After checking into the hotel, we strolled through the town for a bit of shopping, then enjoyed an early dinner where we talked things through once more, before heading back to our room.
I was incredibly nervous – and so was Eric. I had been sighing and fidgeting all afternoon, and the closer it got, the worse it became. “Should we cancel?” I kept thinking.
And then, the knock on the door. Eric opened it, and there was René. A neat, well-groomed man who greeted us in a calm and friendly way. Not a macho type, not pushy at all. We started with a cup of coffee and chatted for a bit, some small talk at first, and then naturally the conversation turned to what we were there for.
Massage
René quickly helped me relax and suggested starting with a massage. I lay on my stomach, still in my lingerie, while René, dressed in boxer shorts, gently massaged me from head to toe. His calm, attentive approach helped me slowly let go of the tension. I could just feel the tension melting away, little by little.
At one point, René asked if it was okay to take off my lingerie, and I agreed. I was completely naked now, and René started gently stroking my hips and thighs.
Eric was sitting in a chair, watching. I found this quite challenging and sometimes wondered, “Is this going okay?” At one point, René asked me to lie on my back and invited Eric to sit, or lie, on the bed beside me.
The massage gradually grew more erotic, and René didn’t miss a single spot. I had no idea how long he had been doing it, but it felt really good and became increasingly intimate.
Squirting
René whispered to ask if he could put his fingers in my vagina, and I agreed. I was feeling extremely horny and, to my own surprise, hungry for more. He massaged my pussy and I just started moaning, spasming, and squirting. I couldn’t stop, and René just kept hitting the spot.
After that, I started to cry and felt completely lost and exhausted. Eric gently caressed me and reassured me – it was quite an experience for him, too, seeing me respond like that to another man.
René stepped back a little, giving Eric and me some time alone. After I’d calmed down, I wanted to keep going, yes, I was starting to enjoy it and just wanted to have sex with René. With both Eric and René.. This was because René moved forward calmly and respectfully, which made me trust him and want to take the next step.
After a while, René leaned over and whispered in my ear, asking if it was okay for him to penetrate me. To my own surprise, I said yes. Eric lay beside me, kissed me, and looked into my eyes with love as René slid in me – helping me to fully relax and trust the moment.
All the way
After that, Eric pulled back a little, so René could go all the way. The way he made love to me was absolutely heavenly, delicious, and unforgettable.
I let myself be completely overwhelmed and truly enjoyed the closeness between us. Something inside me shifted instantly – it was pure lust, a new but pleasant feeling stirring through my muscles, along with a strong urge to squirt over and over again.
I let everything overwhelm me and I really enjoyed this togetherness. Immediately something had changed with me, it was pure horniness, a different but nice feeling inside, reactions of muscles, and that urge to squirt again and again. Later, I was told just how much noise I had made.
René was loving and attentive but kept a respectful distance so I never felt like he was coming between Eric and me. He showed Eric how to make me squirt – something we’d be practicing a lot.
Goodbye!
Then it was over. After a brief chat, we said goodbye with a kiss on the cheek. Eric and I lay back on the bed to recover. Later, we took a bath with a bottle of champagne to savor the moment and continued making love afterward. We immediately started practicing massage, and it worked right away. I was still very aroused, and just couldn’t get enough of it. Every time Eric touched me, I wanted more. After a night of wild sex and a soaked bed from all the squirting, we woke up in the morning and started all over again.
While we were having the breakfast in bed that Eric had arranged, I suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion and burst into tears. This time, it came from fear, questions like What have I done? Is this okay? – a wave of uncertainty.
But at the same time, I wanted to shout from the rooftops: This was amazing! I want to do it again! I loved it! It was all so conflicting.
And yet, it had felt so right. Eric hadn’t been upset at all – in fact, he had enjoyed both watching and being part of it. He kept telling me how much he loved me and how proud he was of me.
Too considerate
I truly enjoyed making love with René – his body, and of course, my own. Kissing or touching René as much as I desired didn’t happen though, as uncertainty about boundaries and being considerate of Eric’s feelings guided the experience. Even now, I was still too caught up in my head, something that’s often a challenge for me, and maybe also the reason I couldn’t orgasm all these years…
After that, we returned to everyday life – back to Planet Earth. On the way home, we held hands like we were falling in love all over again. And just like René had said, it really does feel like we love each other even more than we already did.
Our sex life has improved significantly. I’ve learned to enjoy sex for its own sake, to let go, and to do so without shame. Of course, with three children at home, we have to be a bit more discreet. But this experience has been a beautifully enriching addition to our lives – and definitely something worth repeating.
Enjoy
And as I wrote to René in an email: I enjoy, we enjoy, we have enjoyed, and we still enjoy…