— Real life —
Happily married, and yet…
I’d been thinking about reaching out to a professional for a while, but I just didn’t have the guts to take that step before. The thing is, I’m 43, I’ve been happily married for fifteen years, we have two young kids under ten, and honestly, I have everything I could ever wish for.
Hiring a professional
Looking back, I can say I really lucked out with my husband. And I still feel that way. It’s just that his health has taken a massive toll on our lives over the last few years. Our sex life changed because of it, too. It’s such a shame, because before that, it was actually amazing. In fact, up until three years ago, I had absolutely no reason to look for a professional. I never, ever thought I’d take a step like this.
But as time went on, our sex life moved further and further into the background. And no matter how much I understood his situation—and I still do—I noticed that I started missing sex more and more. It affected me way more than I ever could have imagined.
We tried looking for solutions together, but in the end, they just weren’t realistic. Because of that, tension slowly started building up around something that had always felt so natural. Eventually, my husband gave me the freedom to explore sexually (under certain conditions). This is a mutual decision that we both made very consciously.
A relaxed and respectful connection
I reached out to René.
Right from the first message, it felt good. First of all, because he doesn’t live anywhere near me—I’m from the Utrecht area. On top of that, the contact was clear, relaxed, and respectful. No complicated conversations or confusion, just open communication. That really gave me confidence. Before I knew it, we had a date set up at a hotel near Utrecht.
Even though I was really looking forward to it, I was also incredibly nervous. But the moment René texted that he was on his way, the nerves totally kicked in. I’ll be honest: I was actually just scared to death.
René looks good and is a bit older than me. Right from the start, he radiates this calm vibe that instantly puts me at ease. After we chat for a bit, he suggests starting with a relaxing massage. The room is dimmed a little, and he lays out a sheet and a big bath towel on the bed. Then, he invites me to lie down on my stomach on the bed in my lingerie.
Gentle caresses
He strips down to his underwear too and starts gently caressing me with a feather. Across my back, arms, buttocks, and legs. Pretty much everywhere. After that, he places his hands on my back. So wonderfully warm! His touch slowly gets a bit firmer, but stays very controlled at the same time. I noticed myself relaxing more and more. Then René uses massage oil, and his hand movements become increasingly playful.
My lingerie comes off, and the massage gets more intense and exciting. He slides his hands along the sides of my breasts, down past my buttocks, brushing against me between my legs for just a split second. After that, he takes his time to include my legs in the massage too.
Building excitement
I won’t deny it: the excitement was building! I feel René sit halfway on top of me, and he gently nudges my legs apart a bit with his knee. Very deliberately, he presses his knee against my clit… wow! Because of the rhythm of the massage and the constant pressure he applies, I notice it’s getting harder and harder to lie still. In fact, I push myself up against the bed with my hands just to keep that pressure against my clit going.
And René, who has completely stripped down by now, slowly slides his body over my back and buttocks. Then he kisses me in a very teasing way. Starting from my lower back, he slowly kisses his way up toward my neck. Wow! I was incredibly turned on by then. I didn’t even have to tell him; he had already noticed.
Anticipation
He asks me to get on my hands and knees, and I hear him put on a condom. I feel the anticipation and excitement rising even more and I can’t wait to feel him inside me! He grabs my hips firmly and slowly pushes his dick into me. At first, the pace stays slow and controlled. But he gradually builds up the rhythm, going from calm and steady to deeper and faster. I feel my excitement just keeping on growing.
Then René turns me over and asks what I want: to keep fucking or get a massage on my front first. That was an easy choice! More than anything, I just want to feel more of him. And he alternates between fucking and fingering me. It feels absolutely amazing!
Our bodies are slick with massage oil, making us slide over each other effortlessly. Everything feels relaxed and incredibly intense at the same time. We have this amazing make-out session, and he teasingly sucks on my nipples. Aahgrr… That is so hot.
Control..
At my request, he lies down on his back, giving me control for a moment. I place one leg between his and tease him with soft kisses on his lower belly. Slowly, I kiss my way up—from his lower stomach, across his chest and nipples, to his neck and finally his mouth. We make out beautifully for a while, after which I slowly work my way back down his body, still kissing him. I take his dick in my mouth and start blowing him gently. Slowly, I pick up the pace a bit, looking up at him every now and then.
I can tell from his reaction that he’s visibly enjoying it. That only makes me more enthusiastic. I love seeing what my touch does to him, and I deliberately take my time with it.
After that, he puts on a condom; I sit on top of him and let him slide deep inside me. This time, I set the pace. It feels intense and I enjoy every single moment. After a while, I slide off him again and take him back into my mouth. But I can’t keep my focus there for long, because René’s fingers are already inside me again. OMG!
He just keeps going and going, and I notice my whole body starting to shake from the intense excitement. I completely lose control.
Taking a break
Then we take a little break. We lie closely tangled up in each other’s arms. It feels incredibly good, and I notice my body starting to calm down again. The shaking subsides. We chat a bit, caress each other, and have a long make-out session.
René grabs the massage oil again and takes his time to massage the front of my body with his hands. Following his hands with his mouth, he kisses me on the spots he just touched. Slowly, the massage turns back into long and intense fucking.
René asks me to lie down on a pillow in a specific position. Then he starts fingering me in a certain way: fast, hard, and without stopping. And before I even realize it, I feel the wetness rushing down my legs. With a smile, he tells me I squirted. And right away, he keeps doing what he was doing. Time after time, I feel the wetness streaming down my legs. So incredibly hot!
Intense experience
Next, I feel a small vibrator inside me, and a moment later, he carefully pushes a finger into my ass. Wow… After that, very gently and with a lot of patience, he presses his dick against my ass. I have to get used to it for a second, and René notices that I’m unconsciously holding my breath. But he calmly helps me relax. And once I got past that, it was fantastic! We kept fucking in this position for quite a while. It was intense, exciting, and almost magical at the same time.
We took another lovely break and talked about my fantasies. René said: The world is your oyster. Those words really stuck with me afterward. We cuddled for a bit longer, which was wonderful. After that, René took a shower and we packed up the room together. We shared one last kiss, René picked up the envelope, and left.
Looking back on this afternoon, here is what I can say: It was an afternoon where safety, trust, and desire all came together for me.
Curious
Ever since that date with René, something inside me changed. I decided not just to accept that freedom, but to truly embrace it. Not out of dissatisfaction with my sex life, but rather out of curiosity about myself. I want to discover the desires that have been lingering in the background for years and explore where my boundaries lie.
To give you an example: my husband and I have always been open with each other. At the same time, I have fantasies that just don’t fit with him. And that’s completely fine; everyone is different. It’s precisely thanks to this agreement we made together that there is space to shape that curiosity in a safe and respectful way.
For me, it feels like I get to have the best of both worlds. At home, I cherish my loving family and everything we’ve built together. But next to that, I allow myself the space to further explore a part of who I am.
Second date
By now, there has been a second date with René. Let me give you a little sneak peek: this time, we weren’t alone…
When I look back on that night, what comes to mind above all is safety, trust, and being able to completely let go. It was an experience that made a huge impression on me and one I will never forget. I am incredibly grateful that this night turned out the way it did.
One word: FANTASTIC!
-x- Sophie